We can't assume anything.....

One of my long time customers called me last week. She had called previous times, when she was upset with her female cat for spraying, occasionaly, in her house. The lady would get angry with the cat but would tolerate it. This time, she called me, and was determined to have the cat put to sleep, finally. The cat had been spraying more often and the relationship between the two was very tense. I asked the lady to give me a chance to have a little chat with the cat, in an attempt to perhaps understand what was triggering the bad behaviour.

When I checked in with the cat, I explained that her mother was at the end of her rope with the spraying, and had finally decided that she would put her to sleep. The cat very confidently answered, No she won't! I tried to get the cat to understand the gravity of the current situation and how frustrated her mother was, still she came back with, No she won't! That's where it started.

The female cat wouldn't give me much in the way of Why she was doing it. She danced around the question without giving me any reasons, so I approached from a different angle.
I asked her what she thought of her mother? 'Not nice at all, mad at me all the time, she's boring, not fun at all'. She was happy enough with her dad and certainly didn't like kids. The woman had always told me that the cat sprays in the house when people, family, dogs, etc. come to visit, and even after they leave.

After a good lengthy chat with the cat, my sense was that she had a poor self confidence and she was a very sensitive little girl. She wasn't spraying in the house because people/dogs come to visit, she was doing it because these people/dogs, got so much more attention and a warm, friendly greeting, from her mother, than she does. The lady had referred to the cat, for years, in a negative manner, mostly because of her behavior. The cat was sensitive to the fact that her mother didn't particularly enjoy having her around, and often compared her to all of the well behaved past cats that the family had owned. The little cat was upset that, in her perspective, her mother didn't like her, was always mad at her, didn't spend time with her and wasn't particularly nice to her when she was around.

I mentioned to the mother, after the chat, that her cat's issues stemmed from not getting enough attention, not being given enough importance, always being labeled the 'bad child', and not having any bonding or fun, with the woman. The lady mentioned that she spoils the cat rotten with all the treats, etc. that she cooks up special for the cat. I explained that, like a child, that is given the moon, in toys and treats, they will act out, if they are not given attention and time. All the treats in the world will not take the place of time spent/importance given. The lady said that the spraying problem had started after about 6 months in the house.... she later mentioned that she did used to spend time each evening, the two of them, playing and hanging out together, but had stopped doing that. It hadn't been a conscious decision to stop, from the sounds of things. It just happened that way. I suggested that the lady make time, each day, one on one, with her little cat and try to start over with her, make friends with her, send her good thoughts and refer to her in a more positive light, be it verbally or in her thoughts. Lets not forget. Our animals are reading our thoughts, all of the time, but especially if the thoughts are about them!