They really are like us... more than we realize!

I had the opportunity to talk with a handsome big male cat that I have known for many years. I was interested to know about his frequent squinting, which seemed to have worsened in the last six months. I wanted to know about his personality and about if he had any health issues that I wasn't aware of.

He mentioned that his kidney, left side wasn't strong enough, getting weaker all the time. He said that his eyes hurt all the time too. His eyes, he said, hurt from a light sensitivity, mostly to sunlight. He said that there was pressure from the outside eye, outer eye layer was thinning, breaking down. He didn't find regular light bulbs or flourescents too painful but said that sunlight and the camera flash really do hurt his eyes. He also said that he's having trouble seeing colors now. 'Can't see color at all anymore, it's all one now, everything looks the same. He couldn't remember exactly, but thought that the light sensitivity happened at about the same time as the loss of color. He said that he's not liking being unable to see colors, 'was more fun with color, life was more meaningful, vivid'. He said that it happened over time and had been like this quite a while now. I asked if there was anything that would help his light sensitivity. He said, 'stop going outside in the bright light of the day, night is fine.

He said that his kidney 'had blockages, slowing down, processing slower now, not like before, not good like before, slowing down'. He said there is 'not enough filtration, too much sediment building up, blockage. I asked him, emotionally speaking, what's causing his kidney problems? He told me, 'not processing my life the way I should, not making the effort to be at peace with myself, I get so controlive sometimes and don't accept the way I am, I have a hard time to be just me. I prefer/wish I was someone else sometimes/mostly, most of the time'. I asked him who he wishes he was? 'Not me. Anyone else but me. What's wrong with being you? 'I'm not that kind with others. I try to be, but I don't really like other people/cats. I'm not naturally like that. I find it hard to like others. I judge everyone, all the time. I don't like that part of myself but, I don't seem to be able to stop doing it, even though I try sometimes. I just think that I'm not a very nice boy a lot of the time.

He described his personality as 'smart, playful, bit of a braggart, think I'm more special that everyone else. I'm real beautiful, handsome, gorgeous. People always tell me that stuff'. What would you change about your life if you could? 'let more light/life into my world, through my eyes, let myself shine more, outwardly'. Emotionally, what caused your eye sensitivity? 'Not being there to enjoy my life, spending my time being judgemental and not very nice, alot of the time.' What makes you happy? 'Not being with me. Explain? 'Being like the others, not me. I don't like being me. I'm happiest when I'm someone else. Explain? 'I put my face on someone else.'